Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
