I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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