i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
