I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
