that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
