My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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