well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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