she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
