you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
