absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize