I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
