You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
