she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
