is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
