I accidentally burped into my bong.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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