I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
