I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize