i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
