5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
