yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
