My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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