So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
