So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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