Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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