I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
