Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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