its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Randomize
