if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
This toilet bowl is my home.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize