How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
