Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
