I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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