omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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