Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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