My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
