All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize