on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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