He called his prostate his "boner button".
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
