I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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