I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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