ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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