my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
