Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
birth control should be required to get into college
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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