Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize