is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize