Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
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