Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
