i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
