i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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