planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
