i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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