I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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