I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We are two peas in an std pod
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I am one with the molecules
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
