I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
