he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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