I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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