Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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