The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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