wrigley field is MILF paradise
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
