I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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