is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize