i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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