a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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